Reflections and Intentions

Are you someone who makes New Year’s resolutions? I’m not, and never have been. But I do love goal setting, professionally, and intention-setting, personally. Normally I do this on my birthday in August, which I have learned is a nice “take stock” moment. Not only do I take stock of what has happened over the past year, I take stock of how I’m feeling about a new age.

And then I set some intentions for the year to come. The best part is that I write these things down in a notebook and then never look at it again, until the following birthday. It’s not stressful. I don’t measure my success or failure by these things.

All that said, one tradition, or superstition, I have adopted in recent years is the idea that how you spend your New Year’s is an indicator of how you will spend the year to come. I always try to get in a run, do some writing and some reading, eat some good food, connect with people I love. It reminds me of the things I say are important to me, and to recommit to those intentions in the year to come. At the very least, it’s not a bad way to spend a day (As a good Southerner, I also make sure to eat some greens, ham, and black-eyed peas.)

As a new year approaches, I once again am taking stock, reflecting on what has happened so that I might set some intentions for the year to come. Some highlights from 2023:

• Commitment to Writing: I finished my book, created this blog and website, and started querying agents. I engaged in a community of writers that includes an amazing writing group. And I started the next project, to remind myself that it’s about the writing. That’s the success measure.

• Commitment to Reading: I read more than 20 books. I don’t track these, but I posted 17 on my Instagram, and I can think of at least three others. Looking back on those images makes me glad I posted them, as it reminded me of all the great writing and great stories I was privileged to experience this year.

• Commitment to Travel and Deep Relationships: I celebrated a milestone birthday with good friends in Montreal and with my parents (celebrating milestone birthdays of their own) in Maine. I built connections with new friends and reconnected with others, including some I have known for more than thirty years.

• Commitment to Health: I ran a half marathon for the first time in a few years and kept up a consistent running habit throughout the year. In January, I made a commitment to practice yoga every day, and I kept it. More than anything, I did my best to commit to move every day in some way.

These are my annual intentions: writing, reading, travel, relationships, health. These are the things I value most and, all other things being equal, the ways in which I most want to spend my money, my energy, and my time. They don’t change.

But as the year progresses, and work and life and other things take over, it’s important, no, essential, to remind myself of what matters. Of what I say I value. As I reflect on those intentions from the past year, it’s a good reminder to recommit in these spaces for 2024.

There’s a quote I love, (which, according to the internet, also is probably fake), that goes like this:

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Real or not, it feels like solid advice. Your thoughts matter. Your words matter. Whether you call them resolutions, commitments, goals, or intentions, what you say matters to you, if you put action behind it, matters.

So as this year turns over, let’s all commit to being a little kinder to ourselves. Talk to yourself like you love yourself, then act as if it is already true. Treat yourself like you would your most valued relationship. Keep your commitment, if to nothing else, to yourself. It is the most important thing.